The Book

Title: My Sparkling Misfortune
Author: Laura Lond
Genre: Humor, Fantasy, Middle Grade, Epic Fantasy
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The Interview

Hey everyone! Today I’m having an interview with Lord Arkus of Blackriver Castle, a professional villain and the author of the book “My Sparkling Misfortune”.

1) Why hello, Lord Arkus of Blackriver Castle. I hear that you’re the villain everyone fears around here. Could you tell me why you chose for a career as a professional villain?

A: Greetings, Ms. Majanka. Well, I am not usually open to sharing personal things like that, in fact I guard my early history, but I suppose there’s no harm if your readers know — after all, it’s unlikely that they make their way into my realm and start talking. So I will tell you some of it. I had chosen this fine profession when, as a very young man, I had lost a close friend, and on top of that found myself accused of things I had not done. I figured it was not worth it to try to prove them all wrong — and I enjoyed their fear of me. So I had embraced this path proceeded to earn my reputation of a villain.

2) What does a day in the life of a supervillain look like?

A: It depends on whether I am actively involved into some evil scheme or not. If I am, my day would be filled with various preparations, spying around, training my men, or actual fighting. If not, then I allow myself to relax a bit. Not too much though, I still have to take care of the castle and the rest of my domain, making sure things run smoothly. Goblins can be quite troublesome, you know, they tend to make mischief when they think I’m not watching too closely.

3) I also heard that there’s something going on with you, a monster-like creature and white towers. Can you tell us what’s up with that?

A: He is not “monster-like,” he is a real monster, with fangs, claws and all. You can see him on the cover of my book (I *still* can’t believe they had made me pose standing right next to him for the cover!).

Well, anyway. That beast had been charged to kill me by one of my enemies. That’s a downside of being a villain, I suppose: you have a long list of enemies, some of them powerful enough to arrange something like this. The only thing that will stop this monster is the white towers you’ve mentioned — towers of good as they are also called. He can’t come near them. So if I want to be safe, I need to make sure I am always close to one of them.

4) Now, this is what makes me very, very curious. Why would an evil mastermind like yourself, decide to write a book about his misfortunes?

A: I thought it was about time a villain had his say. Have you noticed how villains are usually portrayed in books? More like props to move the story along rather than real characters. They are rarely heard or given a chance, they are often misrepresented and underestimated. The latter is fine with me, because when I turn out to be smarter than someone thought, I win. But the overall situation is, well, rather offensive. I thought a book like mine might help to set the record straight.

5) The sparkling Jarvi isn’t exactly the ideal sidekick for a villain like yourself. Can you describe to us what your first thoughts were when you figured out that Jarvi was actually a sparkling?

A: Oh, I wanted to scream! I actually did… Would you just imagine: I travel a long way, risk my life to capture an evil spirit, succeed at last — only to find out I’ve grabbed the wrong one! A sparkling, of all things, a spirit that normally helps heroes! Argh. That was beyond frustrating.

6) What is your opinion about the whole everyone-seems-to-want-to-be-a-hero thing that’s going on in the Kingdom, with Prince Kellemar and others like him going to great lengths to reach hero status?

A: It’s got to be some kind of a virus, with princes being most vulnerable to it. Kellemar has suffered from this affliction as long as I’ve known him. It is rather widespread, too: I traveled hundreds of miles away, to Ulkaria, and found that Philip, the prince of the land, also had the same ridiculous wish. Hopefully, I had helped him to get over it.

As to my opinion, I find it both amusing and annoying. The annoying part comes from the fact that many of these hero wannabes would like to achieve their status at my expense. I don’t mind fighting off a knight or two, but when they start coming one after another, it gets old pretty fast.
7) Would you ever want to be a hero?

A: Goodness, no! Why would I?

8 ) What is the greatest thing about being a well-known and feared villain? Would you recommend it to anyone?

A: It’s fun in many ways, you get to set your own rules, but I have to warn that it’s a lonely profession, and you have to always watch your back.

9) And now, Lord Arkus, one of the questions I’m most curious about….Have you ever been in love? And don’t kill me for asking, please…

A: [Coughs] Me? In love?! What a strange notion… Certainly not, not until… Well, no.

10) Are you thinking about a sequel to your novel “My Sparkling Misfortune”? If so, can you tell us something about us?

A: Yes, I am actually working on the sequel right now. It will be titled “My Royal Pain Quest.” You might have noticed that the way the story had ended in the first book was not all that satisfactory; at least I found it hard to accept. So I started looking for ways to remedy the situation… which led me to yet another annoying adventure. Well, perhaps not all of it was annoying as I got to meet some rather interesting folk, including one special lady, but still. The title fits the book very well.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions, Lord Arkus….I better get out of here now!

A: You should be able to leave just fine, Shork has locked up the goblins. Just don’t drink from Black River as you go, you will talk funny for days if you do.